It’s Jan. 16, 2017, in Linden, Texas. It’s 8 a.m., cloudy and brrrrr cold outside. Temperature is in the teens, and day’s high will be in the 20’s. Tonight’s low will be in the low teens. Brrrrrr.

What in the world can a feller do on a day like today? Naw, I’m too old for that. Think of something else. Go ride the trash pick-up trucks? I dare you. Work with them today, and next month you will give them a bigger tip than ever before. What I’m going to do is sit at the keyboard and peck out a column for you to read. Maybe that will entertain you for a few minutes.

We have three or four inches of snow in our yard. Soft fluffy stuff. The squirrels in my giant pecan tree in the back yard are entertaining me, watching them through the window. There are pecans all over the yard, but they can’t see them. Not a squirrel in that tree ever has seen snow. Hey, there are LK school kids at home today making snow men that have never seen snow. Their lesson today is how to make snow men, and snow angels. Oughta be a contest. Anyway, the squirrels are scampering down the tree, picking out a spot in the yard, digging a hole, making a tunnel, coming up with a pecan, just flying back up the tree.

There are hundreds of birds in my back yard, jockeying for position to get at the feeders, and piles of seed strategically placed in my yard. I love wild birds and do all in my power to help them make it through the cold weather. When snow or ice is covering the ground, how can they eat (for survival) except eat from your bird feeder? After spending the night on that tree limb, in freezing weather, they direly need food to keep them alive. Ne eatee, no livee. I know a dude that can’t afford to buy bird food. He smokes a carton of Cancer Sticks a week, about 40 buck’s worth. For the cost of his week’s supply of cancer sticks, he could feed hundreds of wild birds all winter. Your vote. Which of those two scenarios you vote for? Feed birds, or feed cancer?

Now here is something that might win me an award. “Humane Kitchen Advice Award.” Or something! Boiling and peeling an egg. I’m talking about chicken eggs, the kind you eat most every day. Any dummy can boil an egg. Very few of you know how to boil and “peel” an egg, correctly that is. Lady of the house, you want something amusing to watch? I mean Hee-Haw Hilarious Amusing? Have the Mister. of the house boil and peel you some eggs. Better yet, make a video of the action. Good family amusement for years to come. Some of them, after getting the egg shell removed, all he will have left will be the yolk.

Now I’m going to teach you how to boil and peel an egg. Its taken me years of experimenting to learn this process. For starters, inside the egg shell, between the egg white and the hard shell, there is a soft membrane mom nature put in place to protect the baby chick during development. The trick is to get that membrane, in the peeling process, to stick to the hard shell, and not the egg white. As you hairy legged old men found out, that’s impossible. That’s why you ended up with a bowl of egg yolks with the white part of the egg in the trash along with the hard shells. Looks like you used a jack hammer to peel those eggs.

After boiling eggs, pour out hot water, sit the pan in the sink, repeatedly filling pan with cold water. After a minute, put six and a half ice cubes in the pan with eggs. Or six, if that’s easier. Let sit a couple minutes. You want the egg shell real cold, with the egg inside still warm. Quickly peel, with egg shells still cold, and egg warm. The membrane will stick to the hard shell, and slide right off the egg white. Amazing.

Homemade biscuits? Angie bakes the best I ever sunk my teeth into. I’d fight a pit bull for one of her biscuits. I’d give a dollar just to watch her make them. She should charge, just to let folks watch her in action. Now you know about squirrels, birds, how to peel an egg, biscuits. I think everyone learned something, except that little lady sitting in the rear, with tobacco juice running off her chin. She is grinning like a possum. She already knew how to peel an egg. The rest of you owe me. Big Time. Stay warm. Feed birds.

Roy Bale can be reached at roybalemail@yahoo.com.