Sometimes life may seem like an old sad country song. A poor lonely fellow is sitting at the bar, crying tears in his beers, as he goes on about how he’s been used, abused and kicked around all of his life.

“I’ve bounced off one too many wild bucking broncos. I’ve spent my life traveling down that long lonesome highway, but never arriving nowhere.

 My heart’s been broken and shattered by that two timing floozy Linda Sue. My Mamma’s gone. My dog’s dead. Now I’m just sitting here listening to the whistle of that lonely distant train.”

But the thought never seems to occur to our unfortunate heart broken cowboy about who decided to hop on the back of White Tornado in the first place.

 Sure he could travel in vain forever down that long lonesome highway, never arriving anywhere, if he didn’t have a destination in mind. And who told him to take up with that two timing floozy Linda Lou anyhow?

I’ve heard it said that you’re not really a looser till you’ve given up and blame someone or something else for the condition you find yourself in.

And boy is there a long list of people, events, situations, tragedies and every day occurrences to blame?

Bottom line: “I was just a poor innocent victim doing my best. I never meant any harm to anyone. They did it to me. Now all is lost and there’s nothing I can do about it. Poor pitiful me!”

It may well seem humorous while looking at this from an objective viewpoint. But it’s too sad and true that so many people choose some version of this story as their theme song; the reason they are who they are, where they are, and how they are here today. 

“I’m innocent judge. I’ve been wronged. It’s not what I did to them. It’s what they did to me. Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen!”

Some abbreviated version of this may be appropriate to carve on one’s headstone to explain his or her faded dreams and wasted life.

It could be that we are steered in this direction by our government and education and indoctrination system promoting submission to the powers-that-be, and the so called norms of our society. Still, we are the ones who have made the choice to go along this program.

Of course we have highly paid attack dogs, lawyers and politicians, to defend us and to prove us right and “them” wrong.

And so, a victim mentality is quite in vogue in our world today. It feels good and comforting to have someone else to blame. It helps to ease the burden of responsibility, decision making and actually running and controlling our own lives.

Oh my. Am I preaching again? I’m so sorry dear reader.

You see, I just wanted it all to be beautiful and everyone to be happy. I really tried.

I should have been a Pulitzer Prize winning writer. I was reaching for the stars. Fortune and glory was within my reach and I could and should have grabbed them. 

Hey I could have been a contender if it weren’t for: the government - the economy - the weather - my parents - the Russians - the stars in the constellation - the British - global warming - some awful voodoo curse - my upbringing - fate - destiny - etc. etc.

Have you noticed. I didn’t even mention my ex-wife?

Dan O’Connor can be reached at